


I Can't Help Falling In Love

by OverusedInkPen



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fuffly Sam, SUPER FLUFF DEAN, Spoilers for Season 9
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-25
Updated: 2015-01-25
Packaged: 2018-03-09 01:32:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3231239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OverusedInkPen/pseuds/OverusedInkPen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spoilers for Season 9!!<br/>You had bubbles up to your shoulders and you sat across the tub from him. You watched him sip from his whiskey glass as you drank from your own. He had yet to pounce on you and you both just contented yourselves in just watching each other. Well, it was more thinking of the amount of things you two could do in a bathtub without getting water on the floor. (The list was limited.)</p><p>You two went on to talking about your past together and when you two didn’t even know the other’s names. All the while he played with your toes under the water and you tickled his side with them. Eventually you pulled him closer to you and kissed him. With his hands at your waist and your noses touching everything was serenely perfect. You could feel his breath on your face and when you opened your eyes his bright green ones were right on you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Can't Help Falling In Love

**Author's Note:**

> Two songs are Mentioned. These Arms of Mine - Otis Redding and Can’t Help Falling In Love - Elvis Presley

You were always first to wake up in the bunker, though Sam was right on your tail you seemed to beat him to seeing the sunrise. Dean, he could sleep all fucking day if you let him. Normally, he would wake up when he realized you were out of bed.

Some mornings, rare mornings, he would wake up before you and shower you with kisses. He liked to proclaim himself as a person who wasn’t a ‘chick flick’ but he was quite the opposite. On uneventful nights you would both end up in a bubble bath due to him and that was how last night ended.

You had bubbles up to your shoulders and you sat across the tub from him. You watched him sip from his whiskey glass as you drank from your own. He had yet to pounce on you and you both just contented yourselves in just watching each other. Well, it was more thinking of the amount of things you two could do in a bathtub without getting water on the floor. (The list was limited.)

You two went on to talking about your past together and when you two didn’t even know the other’s names. All the while he played with your toes under the water and you tickled his side with them. Eventually you pulled him closer to you and kissed him. With his hands at your waist and your noses touching everything was serenely perfect. You could feel his breath on your face and when you opened your eyes his bright green ones were right on you.

Surprisingly, the night didn’t end in sex. After hitting the 5 year mark you two didn’t have tons and tons of sex. Your relationship consisted of mostly kisses and cuddles. After a while steamy hot sex was nothing compared to late night movies or just living in each other’s space.

When you woke up in the morning you moved yourself from behind Dean and decided you needed to put your bra on. Being the big spoon with a bra on was annoying, but living without one was just as high on the list of things you hated. Then again you left your bra in the bathroom and that was too far away. The big shirt was enough for that moment and you crawled from around him and out of the bed.

Plenty of joints popped as you stood up and padded out of the room. You decided to make yourself a sunny side up and some toast. Since no hunt was planned for a while you decided it was time to make yourself a proper breakfast. Along with some coffee because what better than to wake up eat an egg with coffee and enjoy outside while it was cool and quiet.

You liked to drive your pick up just outside the garage with a few blankets and eat in the bed of the truck. You didn’t get to ride around in it much since the impala was the main mode of transportation so the bed was rather clean.

After you finished your egg and sat it on a plate you popped two pieces of bread in the toaster and started to make your coffee. You had made enough for the three people living in the bunker and some extra because you and Sam always drank enough to give a toddler a caffeine high.

As you poured your cream in and stirred it your toast popped up and you plopped it on your plate. You picked up a fork on the way out and you made your way to the garage with a rather large blanket in one arm.

You set down your belongings in the passenger seat and your mug in the cup holder and drove off to a near by field which was a 5 minute walk away.  

It didn’t take long for you to settle yourself into the bed of the truck with your back against the cab of it you ate your warm egg in peace with you still steaming coffee beside you. Softly your Big Band CD played through your car. With the blanket across your lap you let Frank Sinatra take over your mind so much that you barely noticed Dean walk towards you.

“Permission to approach?” he asked making you jump and nearly spill your coffee. He carried a blanket, a mug of black coffee and a bag of peanut M&Ms. “Permission granted.” you replied with a smile as he handed you the coffee and jumped in with you. “You know M&Ms aren’t a great breakfast.” you noted as he took his placed next to you. “Yeah but you’re eating them.” he retorted and you shrugged.

“Only because you brought them.”

“So it’s my fault?” he asked after taking a sip from his coffee.

“Yes, the Queen declares it so.” you joked making him smile.

“Speaking of queens, I’ve heard that there is a Queen of Hell now.” he mentioned.

“What do you mean heard. You either know or you don’t.”

“It’s just something that a few other hunters have told me. I don’t think it’s anything too serious.” he answered as you leaned against him. “I wouldn’t mind meeting her.” you commented. “Who ever managed to tie Crowley down has to be one hell of a woman.”

He nodded in agreement, “I think you’ve sabotaged me. I’m starting to like Nat King Cole.”

You whooped in triumph. “It’s about time that you broadened your musical horizons. I think Nat King Cole is a great place to start.” He wrapped an arm around you and fixed the blankets so both of them were doing a sufficient job at keeping you both warm.

“I actually found a few records in the Bunker. Not as good as Nat King Cole or Frank Sinatra but they’re up there.” he commented.

“Are you talking like people I’ve never heard of before?” you asked.

“Yes, yes I am. Maybe we can play them over another bath tonight.” he suggested. You smirked and answered, “I would be delighted to take another bubble bath with you tonight. We can stay in until all the bubbles are gone and the water is cold.”

“You’re doing it again.”  

“What?” you asked.

“Starting to write verbal poetry. And it’s beautiful.”

‘These Arms of Mine’ by Otis Redding blead through your speakers and you closed your eyes and the bass and voice take you away. “I now see why you spend your mornings doing this.” he said.

“It’s what keeps me sane.” you murmured quietly leaning your head on his shoulder. “Nothing is better than this.” you added. “With you it makes it 10 times better.”  

With his big green eyes on you you felt small. Just the way he looked at you leaned over you, then again they emotion that coursed through them said all the words he needed to say. ‘I love you’ and you believed that your eyes mirrored the same. Your noses pressed together as another song’s heavy bass accompaniment ran through your ears.

Your lips only brushed against each other at first, his lips just fluttered there for a few seconds and you felt your heart race. He always managed to do this, no matter what approach he made  your heart would always flutter and you knew you loved him.

“Elvis?” he asked. “Can’t Help Falling in Love with You.” you returned as he pulled your body closer to his own. “Me either.” he answered making you start to giggle and completely ruin what ever moment that was starting to happen.

“What?” he questioned completely confused. You were laughing too hard to answer, and you started to cough at some point. “I-its the name of the song dumbass.” you giggled wiping tears. “I’m sorry, but that was fucking funny.”

You let yourself lay on the bed of the truck into a fit of laughter. Dean didn’t give you the semi-disappointed look you expected but one that reflected the look he gave you earlier.

“Marry me.” he said suddenly. You heard the words but didn’t exactly comprehend them fully. When you didn’t immediately respond and just kept your spot on the bed, he got up and knelt over you.

On your back you watched him present the ring to you, it wasn’t anything to be proud of. You were confident he didn’t spend three months of his check on it but that didn’t matter. It was beautifully small and delicate quite the opposite of the both of you.

“I love you, more than I love anything in this world including myself. We don’t have to be sex to be close and I think that this is the first time that has ever happened in my life. I can just see myself spending hours upon hours just staying in the same space with you. After 5 years of being able to kiss and touch you I would love to keep you with me forever.”

You yanked him down on top of you for a kiss. With his full weight on you and his warmth filling you up you finally felt completely. Just the way he sucked on your bottom lip and held you in his arms said everything. “I would be honored to marry you Dean Winchester.” you said wrapping your legs around his waist.

He let out a low tune to match the song.

“ _Take my hand, take my whole life too_

 _for I can’t help falling in love with you_.”

“So you do know the song.” you giggled.

“Yes, and I’ll sing it to you for the rest of our lives.”

Surely enough he did. When nights got long his deep voice sang to you. On long drives when Sam was sleeping in the back and your head was in his lap he would sing to you. When you cried over your parents passing he sang to you.

When nights came along and you both made love, he would bring you close to him. Your foreheads would touch and then your noses. He would sing to you and his slow steady breath would warm your cheeks slowly lulling you to sleep.

He sounded 10 times better than the King to you.

………………………………………..  
 _for I can’t help falling in love with you_

………………………………………..

Everything happened so fast you didn’t know what to do.

You walked through the camp full of homeless people with your gun high in the air. Once you found Sam passed out by the Impala everything was thrown out the window. All safety precautions, your common sense at some point.

Your husband was in danger and you knew it, Metatron may have not looked like much but he has been around for a while.

“Where is he?” you yelled. “Don’t play fucking stupid either.” Their fingers all pointed to the building a couple hundred feet away. As fast as your feet could carry you you shot off to the building.

You ran through the door only to see Dean and Metatron battling out and just as you made it down the stairs the blade ran right through him and Metatron was gone.

Your scream caught in your throat as you met his eyes. You rushed over to him as he reached out to you. You did your best to collect him in your arms as you told yourself not to cry.

He croaked your name out and you hugged him closer to you. “You’re gonna be okay, you’ll be fine Dean. You’re strong, you’re brave and amazing. You can do this.” you said running your hands through his brown hair and cupping his face. “Babe.” he stated and you felt the tears spill over your cheeks.

You knew he wouldn’t make it through the gigantic hole in his chest, there was no going back and you couldn’t make a deal for him. It wouldn’t be right that way. You had to leave him dead no matter how much it hurt. “I love you.” you cried shaking a bit as his blood started to flow onto your jeans more heavily. “I love you so much and these past years of my live have been wonderful. You made them beautiful. We made our personal circle of hell so nice and homely.”

Your name left his lips again and your throat tightened as your eyes met. The green seemed darker, you never thought the entire light leaving their eyes thing was true. But now you could see it, the darkness start to take over his soul.

With a croaky voice you felt the small tune fall from your mouth.

“ _Wise men say only fools rush in_

 _but I can’t help falling in love with you…_ ”

You rested your forehead against his and pressed your noses together. Hoping to feel the warmth of his breath against your cheek. That comforting warmth that you became so familiar with.

“ _Shall I stay_

_would it be a sin_

_If I can’t help falling in love with you_.”

Your fingers curled into his hair and you wrapped your arms tighter around his body. His breath warmed your cheeks through his nose. It was fluttering and fading in and out.

“I don’t know what to do.” you whispered before kissing his lips. “I can’t live without you Dean.”

Your cheek got cold.


	2. I Want Both My Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’ve gotta go.” you mumbled grabbing your keys and passing Sam up. You didn’t bother washing your hands of the mud from Dean’s grave. You had just buried him and gotten back to the bunker barely 5 minutes ago. “Go where?” he asked eyes just a red and puffy as your own. “Drug store a few miles out, I’ll be back in like 20 minutes.” you answered picking up your wallet and checking for cash. “Do you have a 50 I can borrow?” you asked. “For?” he returned. “Don’t worry about it I just need like 50 bucks.
> 
> He gave you a skeptical look that said that he was almost going to let you go with no questions. “No, I’m going to worry. We just buried my brother and your husband and you haven’t even washed your hands yet. For all I know you can go out and getting the tools to commit suicide not saying we don’t have enough here.”
> 
> You sighed and if your hands weren’t filthy you would have pressed them against your eyes. “Look, Sam just let me go-”

“I’ve gotta go.” you mumbled grabbing your keys and passing Sam up. You didn’t bother washing your hands of the mud from Dean’s grave. You had just buried him and gotten back to the bunker barely 5 minutes ago. “Go where?” he asked eyes just a red and puffy as your own. “Drug store a few miles out, I’ll be back in like 20 minutes.” you answered picking up your wallet and checking for cash. “Do you have a 50 I can borrow?” you asked. “For?” he returned. “Don’t worry about it I just need like 50 bucks.

He gave you a skeptical look that said that he was almost going to let you go with no questions. “No, I’m going to worry. We just buried my brother and your husband and you haven’t even washed your hands yet. For all I know you can go out and getting the tools to commit suicide not saying we don’t have enough here.”

You sighed and if your hands weren’t filthy you would have pressed them against your eyes. “Look, Sam just let me go-”

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I might be pregnant.” you came out and said it, he would have found out eventually since it had been at least 2 months since your last cycle. “I need to go buy like 5 tests, a big ass slushy so that I almost piss myself and a shit ton of candy.”

His mouth did the signature hang open in shock for a few seconds before you went on to ask for the 50 again. “I’m coming with you.” he said getting up from the couch. “Why? I don’t need you to come with you to watch me piss on a stick and buy a few things.” you defended yourself as he got up and went to the kitchen. “What are you doing?” you asked, he came out with a napkin and wiped your hands for you.

“Now let’s go.” he said after throwing it away as you just stood there in shock. “You let out a heavy breath from your nose and walked to the garage. “We’re taking my truck.” you said walking straight away from the impala and towards your pick-up. You almost didn’t want to take that either.

After a 15 minute drive to the closest CVS and then another stop at the gas station you were headed back home as you slurped your slushie. “You didn’t have to come.” you said after a long gulp from your drink, it was nearly gone. “Well, I had to make sure you weren’t going to drive off of a bridge.” he said.  

“If I did that then I’d end up in hell and not with Dean so that’s pretty pointless.” you replied, “I’m not going to commit suicide. Especially if these bitches come out positive.”

“How sure are you.” he asked.

“Of what, that I’m really pregnant? Well I’m rather confident and wouldn’t be surprised if these all came out positive. There is a small part of me that is hoping I’m wrong though.” you said as you took another sip of your slushie and ate gummy few bears out of the bag.

“Why?” he asked.

“I wanted this, his death, to be over as quickly as possible. Now, I’ll have a child to raise that will be a living breathing reminder that he’s gone and we probably aren’t getting him back.” you answered not bothering to look at him.

“But, hey I guess if I do the Winchester name will carry on strong huh?” you asked jokingly though tears were about to fall down your cheeks.

“If you are pregnant then what are we going to do?” he asked, you gave him a shrug. “Well, I’ll tell you right now I’m not really up for the abortion thing. So we’ll have to stick with it. Look, Sam if you don’t want to deal with a kid then I can leave.”

“What makes you think I’d leave my niece or nephew to be raised alone?” he asked sounding genuinely insulted. “I don’t want you to feel like I’m dumping this gigantic ass responsibility on you. Hell, I don’t know what to think of it, I know I don’t want you feeling indebted to me because you brother happened to come in me without a condom on.”

“Too much information, but no. I was asking that because you know what kids raised with people like us are like.” he clarified. “I’m not going to raise them like that. They are not going to be brought up into this, nor am I going to lie to them until ‘they’re old enough’. I’ve thought about this a bit and I think I’m going to do this like people introduce their kids to sex. Give them a bit at a time and let them really think it through as they get older and it’s easier to understand”

You saw him smile as you finished off your drink and rolled into the garage ready to explode. “Now, I’ve got to go piss on a few sticks.” You quickly parked the truck and ran off to the nearest bathroom with the CVS bag in hand along with the extra styrofoam cup.

The instructions said to leave them there for like 15 minutes so you left them in the cup and sat on the toilet with the timer on your phone set. You let Sam in and you both waiting together, you were giving the cup a glare from your place when you weren’t watching to clock. 

When the timer went off you shot up and nearly knocked Sam over. Though, you immediately slowed down seconds later because goddamn it was scary. Slowly you pulled them out of the cup and laid them in the sink, dumped your piss in the toilet and then threw the cup away.

You almost didn’t want to look, though Sam already was his face wasn’t giving anything away. He just looked over to you and you met him buy the sink.

The system was rather easy to figure out, plus or minus sign told the obvious and goddamn pluses all the way down all 5 of them.

“Fuck.” you murmured as tears welled in your eyes. “You’re pregnant.” he said and you nodded as you put a hand to your mouth, it smelled like piss but you really didn’t notice. “Don’t cry.” he said as you placed your free hand on your stomach. “I’m going to have a baby.” you whimpered tears falling as he wrapped his arms around you.

“I’m going to have to raise a fatherless child.” you sobbed, “No,” he corrected you,   
“We’re going to raise it.”

~~~

Needless to say, Sam was super helpful when it came to dealing with a pregnant woman. Especially one with bad nausea. “Oh my fucking god Sam I’m going to die.” you whined head hanging over the sink again for the 4th time that night.

“There isn’t even anything left in me but I’m still shooting it all up.” you cried spitting the remains of your vomit in the sink. “And, who ever called it morning sickness is a fucking liar.” you added.

“You’ve got a point there.” he said glancing at the clock as he let go of your hair. It was 4 AM and you had woken up running to the sink, passing up the bathroom. You didn’t know why but this is where you ended up.

You moved from in front of him and got a glass from one of the cabinets above, “It’s more like whenever the fuck it feels like coming, sickness.” you replied before washing your mouth out with the water. “Anyways I’m going back to bed, probably won’t wake up for another 12 hours.”

That was another thing that you just couldn’t fight, you were sleeping all the time. Most of your energy went into growing the baby inside of you. Many of the things you had read and your OB said it was normal but Sam bought none of it. He kind of made it a thing of checking if you’re breathing every few hours when it felt like you were down too long.

You didn’t talk much about it besides telling him not to wake you up or you were going to be pissed.

During one of the few hours you weren’t sleeping or puking your guts out you sat next to Sam watching a movie. “You are getting bigger.” he noted looking you up and down. “You’re the only person allowed to tell me that without getting hit.” you replied smiling. “I noticed, I am in the beginning of my 5th month. Think it’s time to stop wearing tank tops.”

The more miserable first trimester symptoms were starting to disappear and since you were moving more into the second trimester things were settling down a tiny bit. You were more content, just not when it came to certain foods.

Your cravings weren’t crazy just a tad bit annoying. You didn’t want crazy stupid things you wanted things you hadn’t had in a while. Like greek food or pita chips. Those were one time things though, most of the time you really wanted to chew on ice. Maybe it was because your body was always hot but it just tasted different and better, plus it felt good.

“I’m telling you this is weird.” Sam said as you came back with your 5th cup of crushed ice. “Oh shut up Sammy. I could be doing more stupid shit.” you retorted sitting down at the map table with him and one of the other hunters you had met. “She’s not coming with us is she?” the new guy asked and your rolled your eyes. “If I got out of this bunker while I was still pregnant he would pitch a fit.” you said sticking your tongue out at Sam.

“Anyways, I’m saying it’s a werewolf.” and you shook your head. “Moon doesn’t match up, plus what werewolf would abduct people from highways and take them to the woods? I seriously doubt that.”

“Pregnant lady has a point.” the other guy says as you looked back at your phone, “I call you Richard and since I have a name you should call me by it before your new name become Asshat or Dickhead.”

Sam ignored the entire small encounter and asked you what you thought it was, “Could be a wendigo.” You suggested, “Right around the correct areas of the country and right symbols.”

He nodded in agreement and you felt the blood leaking from your nose. “Motherfucker.” you mumbled getting up and covering your nose. “No one tells you that your nose bleeds when you’re pregnant.” you mumbled walking to the kitchen to get a few paper towels. You also decided to say in there eating chips and play on your phone rather than being called ‘Pregnant Lady’.

“We’re leaving in the morning.” Sam said making you look up and finish chewing your chip. “Okay, just come back in a few days and I’ll be fine.” you replied. “I’m not going to pop for another 4 months so we’re fine.”

He smiled and you shoved him a bit just for effect and laughed. “Just be careful, if anything goes wrong call me.” he said. “Not very much can go wrong, well a lot can go wrong but chances are slim.”  

Sam gave you a serious look and you shrugged, “I’m just sayin’. Plus, how weirded out do you think Richard over there will be if I walk in there with this nosebleed and twitching?”

He laughed and you did too, “You might get shot. He thinks you’re weird enough since you’re pregnant and I’m not the father.”

“Seriously is it that hard to understand that you and I will never have sex?” you asked. “Well, you did figure out you were pregnant after he died.”

“I was 2 months pregnant when he died.” You defended yourself, “Which translates to that this is Dean Winchester’s child and not yours.”

There had been a few hunters that came and went thinking that Sam knocked you up and if Dean were alive he would have been 10 kinds of pissed off. You were pissed off for him and yourself. It’s not saying that you didn’t love Sam, you did but not the way you loved Dean.

Sam was your brother and the man who held you when you cried. The only intimate things you two did were hugs and kisses on the forehead or cheek. It was hard for some people to pick up on platonic activities. Especially small minded people. (Like Richard)

“Just get Richard Simms out of my fucking library and I’ll be fine. If I get called ‘Pregnant Lady’ one more time he will wake up in hell where he belongs.” you said giving Sam a quick pat on the back before heading to your room.

Since you had actually started to outgrow your shirts you started to wear Deans. In the beginning when you were pretty much had very little of your small wardrobe left you knew that Dean’s clothes were your option along with Sam’s.

It really became unavoidable in month 7 when you were way too big for anything you personally owned.

Sam wasn’t there when you had forced yourself to go into his drawers and get the large shirt so you could go to your doctor’s appointment. You hadn’t touched an inch of his things since he died and it was harder than you expected.

When you walked to the dresser you opened the top drawer where he kept the plaid shirts and tees. You opened it and the easy part was done.

It was all left in their perfect little stacks the way that he always did it like he was coming back that night. You knew what shirts you were looking for so you could look semi-presentable. His smell hit you full force again. On the first night you slept along it was hard, but now your smell took over the sheets and Dean was gone from there.

Tears took over and you still stood frozen in front of the open drawer in your sweat pants and night shirt.

Sam knocked at the door as you let out a sob, he then opened the door “Why aren’t you dressed?” he asked looking at you and assessing the situation.

“I-I can’t fit any of my own shit so I had to get some of his.” your voice cracked and more tears came. “And I can’t Sam, I just can touch any of it. And the smell, it all smells like him and this is all him and I can’t.”

His arms were around you before more words or tears could come out and he kissed your forehead like he always did. “You can have some of my shirts.” he said walking out with you.

You never touched Dean’s shirt’s again. Later that day you found out that you were having a girl since you gave into the torture from Sam asking you.

Molly Elizabeth Winchester sounded just about right to you.

“Welcome to full term Mrs. Winchester.” your OB said at your last appointment. “Last month of having her inside.” you said with a fist pump, the last month had been so bad that you ready to die.

“Yes, just be ready for the time to come and make sure everything is ready for little Molly Winchester.” she said as you got up carefully with Sam’s help. “So it can be any day now?” Sam asked.

As she took her gloves off she nodded, “Whenever the baby says it’s time to come out she’ll come. It could be tomorrow, next Tuesday or anytime at all. You know when to start heading here Winchesters.”

You smiled and nodded, your due date was actually on Thursday and you were all ready to pop Molly Winchester out of your body.

“Just a few more days of pregnant me.” you said to Sam as you got in the car together. “No, she said it could be a week or so.” he corrected. “No, a few more days 3 at the most. It’s just a feeling.” you said.

“You said that about Molly being a boy.” he joked.

“This is different. Definitely different.” you shot at him a look and he silenced himself. “Look, as long as it’s a healthy baby I’m all good.” he said pulling out of the parking lot.

“You don’t secretly want a nephew?” you poked. “No, I’m all good with just being an uncle.” he pushed your hand off of him and you proceeded to mess with him more.

As you entered the bunker together with you poking him in the back lightly, “If you weren’t pregnant then I would tackle you.” he said as a voice came from the map table.

“Pregnant?” Castiel looked up at the both of you and then at your abdomen.

“Cas!” you squealed, “Get your feathery ass up here so I don’t have to run down these stairs.”

He appeared in a few seconds and instead of a hug his hand went to your stomach. “Normally people ask.” you noted as he gave the signature confused Castiel look. “This is Dean’s child.”

“No shit. I never cheated on my husband, nor will I.”

“Does he know?” Cas asked and you shook your head. “Most people don’t. I found out the night that we buried him.”

“You’re full term also.” he noted. “You’re stating the obvious Cas.” you said getting tired of his presence already and walking down the stairs carefully. “She could come any day.” he added.

“I’m no longer answering you.” you said getting to the bottom. “How come you didn’t tell me?” he asked Sam.

“Wasn’t my thing to tell.” he shrugged as you walked over to the fridge and got out some strawberries. “He’s not the one with the 6 pound being in him.” you yelled from you place as you washed off a few.

“We’ve been laying low since we found out. We don’t want anyone coming after her.”

“Well, carrying Dean Winchester’s child is a very large risk.” Cas said.

“You’re forgetting that she is also half of me too. It’s our kid.” you retorted emerging from the kitchen with a large amount of strawberries.

“Yes, but it’s also Dean’s.” he reminded you. “And?” you shrugged. “And, do you know how many monsters and people would kill you and that child.”

“It’s not like I’m carrying a nephlim. I’m human, Dean was human.” you added

“Not the point.”

“Then what is?” you asked.

“You didn’t tell me, I should have protected you.” you scoffed at his words.

“How was I supposed to tell you Cas? You don’t answer my prayers you answered Dean’s.”

“I would have.” he tried to defend himself.

“Don’t think that protecting us should be your one last good deed to the dead Dean Winchester. Because it won’t be. It’ll be just a screaming reminder that I can’t protect my own daughter well enough.”

Sam kind of slid himself from his argument and went to another part of the bunker, you didn’t really notice as you argued further with the angel.

“Do you think I asked for this?” you almost yelled. “Do you think I planned for a living, breathing reminder that the one man that I loved the most is dead?”

“That is not what I said.” he practically growled.

“I don’t go around getting knocked up, if you haven’t noticed I’ve been with like 2 men in my lifetime and this is my first kid. I didn’t-”

The water ran down your thighs quickly and you froze in place. Upon not hearing you yell Sam peaked his head in the door.

One of your hands went to your abdomen and you then looked down at your wet jeans. Sam was by your side faster than you could think and Cas dropped everything as his hands went to your stomach. “Jesus Christ.” you groaned. “She’s in labor.”

“Thank you Captain Obvious.” you snapped anger not yet disappearing as quickly as his did.

“Cas you get her up the stairs and I’ll get the bag.” Sam said before you pushed Cas off of you. “I can get up the stairs by myself thank you.” you sassed back to him and walking up the stairs.

Since you lived so far from the hospital where you were to give birth the best time to go was as soon as your water broke. Even if it meant waiting for a bit in the car until the contractions were 5 minutes apart.

Turns out that didn’t need to happen, just as you were pulling up to the hospital you were ready to get it all over with. “Sam, I’m getting those fucking drugs, no matter what any fucking hippie ass bitch told you do not let me go without it.” you threatened pulling him closer to you by the collar.

Just as soon as you were in your room they were asking all the questions, Sam answered most because if any words came from your mouth they would have been, ‘Where the fuck is that epidural?’

It was horrible, even after they gave you the spinal drip. You didn’t scream though, it wasn’t enough pain (you had been through worse) but there were definitely tears. The phrase, ‘I can’t’ also came out a lot. Especially when you were pushing.

You shook your head and crossed your arms over your eyes, “I can’t do it, Sam I can’t.” you cried, you were surrounded by nurses all talking and tell you different things at once. “Sam, pull her leg up more.”, “Push.”, “Don’t push.”

He kissed your forehead as you pushed again, face wet with tears and whimpers coming from your mouth. “She’s nearly there. I can almost see her.” he told you as you squeezed his hand. “You’ve got this. I promise you can do this.” he said giving you another kiss as you were told to breathe again.

“Last push I promise Winchesters.”

It took 10 seconds until you felt her leave and a few more until you heard her. “Oh my fucking god.” you cursed with a sigh as a large blanket was placed over you and then the baby.

Your arms were around her as soon as you could get them there. The nurses and your OB hustled around you, wiping Molly of the blood and goo on her. More tears came as she cried more.

Sam of course cut the chord and then she was gone from your arms as you were told to push a few more times.

“Molly Elizabeth Winchester, 7 pounds 6 ounces and 17 inches.” the words really didn’t mean much at that moment, you just wanted your baby back in your arms.

You were out of the hospital and back in the bunker in a few days. Sam was just as excited as you were for the baby and you sure as hell were happy she was out of you and in your arms.

~~

You buried him not very far from the bunker right in the middle of a field by this big tree. Last time you were there you had just buried him and now it had officially been 7 months. Even though you doubted that he could even know what you were doing or read what you left him, you still kinda left him a note. It helped more than anything else you did.

_Molly is barely 2 weeks old._

_You don’t know who she is and I doubt you will until I’m dead and I tell you myself._

_Molly isn’t too close to Mary is it, I tried to be considerate of that fact._

_It was hard, not the giving birth part, but just the beginning of my long time without you._

_We found out I was pregnant the night that we buried you and I cried and cried. I still cry now sometimes._

_She has your eyes and your lips, I love her so much and I’m sure you’d be a proud father._

_Somehow she smiles like you did._

_The way so that your eyes crinkled and teeth show, except it’s just gums with her._

_I’m waiting for people not to think that she’s Sam’s._

_I hope to god you won’t think that either._

_~~_

_Molly is almost a year old._

_She walked to me today and then to Sam._

_I think we’re doing a good job_

_She likes to jump around in her crib when she first wakes up, it’s kinda cute I got a video of it._

_She looks more like you than me._

_I’m debating if I’m going to send her to school._

_When she gets older of course, since we’ve got plenty of time to do whatever she’s all taken care of._

_I think I’ll start her in 3rd grade._

_The thought came to me a few nights ago that I’ll have to at some point tell her that her father is dead._

_I have no idea how I’m going to do that._

_~~_

_Molly is turning 3 today._

_She’s starting to give us looks like you did._

_And she dances and moves to Classic Rock._

_I’m sorry that you never got to experience the joy of being woken up by her._

_Man it’s brutal but it is so cute and fun._

_Sam will put her on the bed and she would crawl over and then just jump on me._

_She can hit hard, no lie._

_But it’s cute, the way that she giggles and squeals my name to wake me up._

_Then I’d lift my torso up and kind of tackle her to make her squeal and she giggles the most when I throw her on the bed._

_She started to call Sam, Unkie it came from because she could pronounce Uncle so Unkie kinda came out._

_Molly also thinks that Castiel is the weirdest person on the planet. She can’t quite figure out how he pops in and out of the room and can’t understand that he’s an angel._

_She hides behind my legs when he’s around. Let me just say Castiel is no good with kids._

_~~_

_She’s 7, she grew up so fast._

_Molly found your picture a few days ago, asked who it was._

_I didn’t hide it at all. I told her it was her father._

_She then asked where you were._

_I couldn’t answer, so Sam did for me._

_I was rather mad at myself that I couldn’t tell her that you were dead._

_I wanted to do it I just couldn’t._

_She just kind of nodded and I could see that she was confused._

_~~_

_Molly is 9 and we sent her to school today._

_It was hard and I cried in the front office._

_Plus, half the ladies in the office thought that I was lying when I said she wasn’t Sam’s._

_I felt like cursing them all out and pointing out the green eyes._

_They asked about you of course, asked for a picture._

_‘For Record Purposes’ they said._

_I gave them a copy._

_Half of the women gave me a look like how did you get him._

_I wanted to say,_

_“Well, he’s dead so fuck you.’_

_The other half went after Sam and I nearly left him in the school and drove off without him._

_~~_

_Molly’s 12 and I think she is finally starting to get what Sam and I do._

_It’s still confusing to her and I don’t plan on really telling her._

_I’m letting her process it as she get older and older._

_Plus, she’s starting to realize she isn’t exactly normal._

_I guess that’s a side effect of sending her to school._

_But I want to give her a much better childhood than what you had as a hunter’s kid._

_~~_

_She’s 14 and I had formally explain everything after she saw me slice off a vamp’s head we were interrogating._

_She now thinks I’m the most badass mom in History._

_It’s kind of easier not having to hide anything from her._

_She also said that I was really cool for a 48 year old._

_I could hear Sam choke on his coffee, I was only half awake and didn’t comment._

_Also having a teenager is really funny._

_Mostly because she does some dumb ass shit._

_Sam and I are thinking of starting up the Men of Letters again since we have a shit load of time on our hands._

_We’re actually recruiting people now._

_~~_

_Molly is 17 and she got to met the King and Queen of Hell._

_She was so excited and I was more less not so excited._

_Also, things have gotten kinda quiet with the demon population since the demons accepted her as queen._

_She’s cool and a lot like Crowley, her name is Amelia. Red hair, dark brown eyes and not at all a bitch like I imagined._

_Molly was all over her though, if she were 7 she would have bragged to her friends about meeting a Queen but she actually 17 and was more or less in shock._

_~~_

_She’s 19 and left for college and goddamn I know why John was sad that Sam left._

_Because it get’s real quiet when a large part of your life leaves._

_But it’s never that quiet with a bunch of the Letters people around. For the first time in forever we have all the bunker rooms filled up._

_It’s cool, people are asking me questions and looking up to me for advice on their life._

_They’re all rather young, well everyone is rather young when you’re 53._

_I’m surprised that I’ve lived this long actually since not very many hunters do._

_But they’re all pretty happy that they’re being mentored by the Winchesters._

~~

You weren’t sure when you got stabbed, it just kind of happened.

But you sure as hell could feel it, and especially since you took it to the heart. You felt the blood come up from your mouth as the blade was promptly take from your body. The demon was stabbed and Sam was on his knees in front of you before you could go.

There was nothing for you to say or do and if you were telling the truth you were ready to go. Ready to see him again, then again you were leaving a lot behind. But your Dean Winchester was waiting for you and Sam would eventually follow along with Molly.

You shook your head as you watched him cry and pick you up. “No.” you choked out, “Don’t cry you’ll be heading up with me in time. Take care of my kid Sam Winchester.” You eyes closed themselves and when you opened them a pair of green ones met your own.

“I’ll let you explain why we’re in a hospital.” he said and if you weren’t in the bed with Molly in your arms you would have jumped up and screamed. “Oh my god. Dean!” you squealed wanting to hug him and kiss him and fuck him right there if you weren’t holding her.

He leaned down and kissed you, and it was everything that you remembered and missed. “Who is that?” he asked looking down at the baby latched on to your breast. “Molly Winchester and before you say anything yes she is yours. She has you eyes and lips.” you said with a smile moving her off of you so he could see. “You can really tell right now but her eyes will get greener over time.” you said and you could see the tears in his eyes.

“W-We had a kid?” he asked and you nodded as the tears slid down his cheeks. “Yes, I named her Molly Elizabeth Winchester.”

Dean gave you that little kid smile that you missed so much as he asked to hold her. You really could not say no and you handed him Molly. “Fucking hell we did good babe.” he said kissing you. “Wait until you see her when she’s older.” you poked with a smile as there was a knock at the door.

“Dean let us in.” Ellen’s voice was clear and you jumped out of the bed. “Ellen’s here?” you asked, “Yep, so is Garth, Jo and a few others. They’re all excited to see you.”

“Fuck, I’m excited to see them.” The memory faded as you opened the door and it changed to the Roadhouse. You were in your usual shirt and jeans and you were immediately hugged by Jo.

“I heard you got yourself married girl.” she said as you hugged her back. You knew Jo and Ellen since you got into hunting and you were really happy to see them again.

It was years after you got settled into Heaven with Dean did Sam tag along. Garth’s alarm system went off and all of you perked up to the noise. (You had alarms set for the people you were waiting for. There was one for Sam, Molly and a few others.) “He’s here.” you said looking to Garth to find the way to Sam’s heaven. A large smile crossed Dean’s face and you kissed him before Garth scribbled symbols on the door.

“This way.” he said as you and Dean practically ran through the door. He was watching Molly play with a few toys as you bursted through the door with a call of his name. “This is one of your favorite memories really.” you asked.

He didn’t say anything at first as he got up and hugged his older brother and then lifted you into the air. Molly went on playing because she technically wasn’t there.

“Welcome to Heaven Sam.” you said as you put him back down. “Only took you 62 years.” Dean said making you laugh.

You were happy, really happy for the first time in years. You had your boys with you.

“She had a kid.” Sam said to you. “SHE DID WHAT?!” you yelled. “Molly, she had a boy. Kept the Winchester name, but she did get married. She named him Dean, gave her your name as a middle name.” he said pointing to you, “Well, kind of. She did it this cool way but don’t really remember it.”

“Oh my god I’m a grandmother.” you gasped and Dean couldn’t help but to smile getting distracted by 2 year old Molly.

  
“He still hasn’t gotten over it yet has he?” Sam asked and you shook your head. “Don’t think he ever will.”

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this on my writing blog also http://the-inkpen.tumblr.com


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